Loss
by the lights of paris
Summary: Her fingers lightly graze his cheek, her eyes flutter close and she leans in closer. Their lips are inches apart and they both know this is a mistake, they don't love each other anymore, he has a girlfriend but they don't care and their lips smash together and the hunger and desire they feel melt into each other. Chuck\Blair\Eva. 4.02.


**Title: **Loss.

**Summary:** Her fingers lightly graze his cheek, her eyes flutter close and she leans in closer. Their lips are inches apart and they both know this is a mistake, they don't love each other anymore, he has a girlfriend but they don't care and their lips smash together and the hunger and desire they feel melt into each other. Chuck\Blair\Eva. 4.02.

**Authors Note: **Nobody like ever reviews on my stories and I hate asking for reviews but could you _please_ review if you read this? I tried a new writing style as well but I don't know if I like it. *shrugs*

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

It's bad but you don't care because you're not Henry Prince in this moment, you're Chuck Bass. You tried to kill him, murder him, bury him in the ground but he won't vanish into thin air for you to never see again, he keeps coming back whether it be in the form of nightmares or in the form of a beautiful brunette. You rake your fingers through her hair and lift her chin up, it's wrong and he shouldn't be doing this. Her fingers lightly graze his cheek, her eyes flutter close and she leans in closer. She smells of the sweetest fruit and of Chanel Number 5. Your lips hover over hers, you're teasing her, taunting her but you want her. You'll never admit it though, you'd be to much of a fool. Their lips smash together and the hunger and desire they feel melt into each other. Neither cares that it's a mistake, that they don't love each other anymore or that he has a girlfriend that could walk in at any given moment but their fingers and hearts ache for one another. She fumbles with his buttons and press loving kisses along his collar bone, he fumbles with her zip and plants soft kisses along her neck and then it's like something inside of her snaps, she shouldn't be here, she shouldn't be here with _him_. She pulls away, an apology on her lips ready to be said but he understands. He's hurt them both too much, she leaves without a word and they mutually agree silently to act as if the kiss hadn't happened but it did happen. You watch her walk through the door and the sight of her walking away from you is to familiar, you've seen it one to many times before. It's second nature for people to leave you, to give up on you. You stopped questioning why everybody hates you a long time ago but then you let somebody in and you broke her heart which broke yours a million times over. You did what you do best, you ran, you fled and then you got shot.

Ten minutes after the girl from your past has left, a blonde walks through the door. She's sporting a wide grin and you trying your best to recreate it on your on face. She's talking about her day and you're trying your best to listen and pay attention, you nod your head, smile at all the right parts and ask her more questions. She's speaking but your ears hardly register any of the words she's saying. She's wringing her arms around your neck and planting a kiss on your lips and you can't help but compare the kiss to the one you shared with an old flame not fifteen minutes earlier.

"Eva," Your voice is soft, soothing and her head whips around to face you. The two of you can't stay in Paris any longer. You shouldn't of come to Paris with Eva in the first place, it was always your dream to go with Blair. Late at night the two of you would whisper your plans about coming here together, your hands intertwined and placed on the pillow, your legs twisted with one another and your eyes locked firmly on the others but that was when you were Chuck Bass, your not him anymore. "I think we should leave Paris." You finally breath, you watch Eva's face fall and you should be feeling something, you should be feeling guilty but you don't feel anything.

"Why?" She asks, inching away from you. Hurt is evident on her face, your eyes dart to floor and you wring your hands together. You can't exactly tell her the reason you want to leave is due to the fact that your girlfriend is here on vacation and you were _this_ close to sleeping with her if she hadn't realized it was a bad idea and left _and_ she hadn't even known Eva had existed.

"It gives me a bad vibe," You lie smoothly. You've always been a good liar, Chuck Bass has always been a good liar you correct in your head. Eva looks at you and for a second you think she's going to bust you on cheating, on lying about who you are but instead a laugh slips from her lips, she finds it funny and for a second your offended but then relief floods through you. A shy ghost of a smile flutters across your lips and she shakes her head, her light, pale, blonde hair swishing around her face. You lean in closer towards her, your fingers move a strand of hair and your lips gently press against hers. It's a sweet, light kiss and for a moment you think this could work, that you could actually love her but you know deep down that you don't, the most you feel for her is lust. You don't ever want to go back to being Chuck Bass but the only girl you could _ever_ love, _ever_ spend the rest of your life with is in that life but she'll never take you back, she doesn't love you anymore.

"Henry, we can't leave because it gives you a bad vibe," Eva explains, a wide smile on her face, her eyes lit up with glee. You nod your head because she's right. You'll have to work on a better excuse but before you have time to think of one there's a knock on the door and Eva's bouncing up off of the bed and striding over towards the door, she flings it open and you curse yourself. A tall, leggy blonde is standing there, her arms folded across her chest and worry in her eyes.

"Can I help you?" Eva asks, Serena nods her head, she uncrosses her arms and flings a piece of paper your girlfriends way. You step up cautiously, it's dangerous to go near there but you want to know what Serena wants, you _need_ to know what Serena wants. Eva looks at Serena questioningly, her eyebrows knitted together.

"Have you seen this man?" Serena asks urgently and Chuck freezes in his place. Eva nods her head, pointing behind her. Serena's face lights up with relief and she pushes her way inside, engulfing you in a hug. You stay frozen, not moving. She then pulls back and whacks you across the chest.

"How dare you!" She explodes, her hands being thrown up in the air. Eva's still standing at the door awkwardly, hurt written across her face. You strain your neck to see the piece of paper but it's just a photo of you. "Mum thought you were dead, you asshole!" Serena exclaims, Henry rolls his eyes at the blonde. A priceless Chuck Bass move, he realizes his mistake a second to late. Henry Prince wasn't cocky, he was sweet, he was everything Chuck Bass wasn't, everything he isn't. Eva takes a steep closer and then another until she's standing in a circle with you and your step sister.

"Is everything alright?" She asks meekly, Serena turns around to face her. A light smile floods across Serena's lips as she nods her head, waving any worries away with the flick of her wrist.

"Perfectly fine." Serena states before turning back to Chuck, you know she's mad, her face tells you everything you need to know.

"We thought you were dead," She tells you, her voice is strained and heartbroken. Serena's never cared about you before and after breaking Blair's heart she's only grown to hate you more, you can't think of a reason why she would be upset if you were dead. You didn't think anyone would be heartbroken if Chuck Bass died, he was a monster and people don't mourn monsters.

"Why did you think he was dead?" Eva questioned, her eyes darting between the blonde and the brunette. Serena ran her fingers through her head and turned to face Eva but before she could open her mouth, you open yours.

"I have no idea, I think you have the wrong person." You easily lie, Serena stays silent her lips pressed in a firm line. She knows better then to question it, a small sigh escapes her lips and she leaves the house but not before telling your girlfriend your biggest secret.

"Chuck, could you at least give Mum a call? I'll tell Blair that you're alright," And then she's gone and for a moment you swear that it was a dream of sorts but the look on Eva's face tells you it wasn't. She looks as if she's just been slapped, your hand reaches out for hers but she rips it away. She can't look you in the eye, she doesn't understand any of this but she's got a pretty good idea you live a double life. She doesn't leave you like you expected her too but she doesn't talk to you for a whole hour, she ends up understanding everything once you tell her though. You leave out all mentions of Blair though and she doesn't ask until late at night.

"Who's Blair?" You gulp because you don't want to share this information with her, you settle on a simple white lie.

"She's just a friend," You wish that was all it was, that the two of you were just friends but it's too late for that. You shut your eyes and drift off into a sleep, you dream of your friends lips upon yours, her hands on your chest and for a minute you think maybe it's not a dream but then you wake up and lose yourself in a girl nothing like the girl you want.


End file.
